Eternal Bonds

I've been debating how to write this post.  How to capture in words,  an extremely special moment in our lives.

Back in March my Grandpa died.  You may remember the post.  He passed exactly 3 years to the day that his wife, my dearest Grandma passed.  We made the trek to Nebraska for his funeral.   And it was one of the most comforting and amazing experiences.  Knowing they were at last together again.

The night of the viewing we had returned to our hotel late.  As I laid in the darkness, I thought about fond memories I had with them.  And I kid you not, it was like they were standing at the foot of the bed.  They stood there together with a baby in their arms between them.  I knew they were holding my baby.  Even now this brings tears to my eyes.  I thought maybe I was dreaming, or maybe I was thinking of this picture I have of them with me when I was tiny. 

But what I saw was so different.  They were standing there, and just beautiful glowing.  Grandma with her beautiful white hair, Grandpa with his huge grin.  And a baby between them, in their arms.

I knew at that moment that there was another little soul waiting to join our family.

I had been having IUD issues for almost a year. So when we returned I went and had  it removed.

With my history of miscarriages and how long it has taken to get the last 2 kiddos, we weren't really concerned about preventing.  James and I have always felt, if it is meant to be it is meant to be.  Losing 7 babies has taught us that life is SO precious.  How blessed we are for the 4 beautiful babies we have been given.

So we went about our lives.  After being careful the first month as my midwife suggested, we didn't pay much attention after that.

The next month came and before I could even test, I knew.  

A few days later confirmed

I was a little surprised, that it happened so fast! So then I prepared myself. For a loss.

Not even a week later I was getting nauseated.  That is a very reassuring sign for me! But I still couldn't get my hopes up.  Babies never come this easily for us.  

But time went on.  I got sicker, and sicker, and sicker than I have ever been with ANY of our pregnancies.

Finally this past week we had our first ultrasound.

And we saw, and we heard, this divine little babies beating heart.  The flood of emotions that came to me are indescribable. But it was beautiful.

So here we are.  8 weeks along.  I am super sick, and sure, it is no fun, but oh my goodness!  My Grandparents showed me that there was another life for us to bring here. And here I am with a healthy pregnancy, a vital baby growing inside, with no miscarraiges.  

Call it what you will.

But for me,  this is an eternal bond that I hold dear to my heart. And I will NEVER forget how this special little babe came about.

I miss you Grandma and Grandpa.  I can not thank you enough for the lifetime of fond memories.  And even now, thou you are gone, you have still created what will be the most blessed memory of you in my life.

Our little bean is Due Feb 9th, 2013.  (Lillie's 4th birthday) :)

We are going to let the gender be a surprise! We have 2 of each, so why not?

4 weeks:

8 weeks: