A baby!!!

Guess where I've been!?

I took a month off of blogging apparently!
Partly because I was at the end of my pregnancy and miserable and in total survival mode (you moms know what I mean).  And partly because of this beautiful little baby boy who came 3 weeks early! :)

The long story.  (For the sake of my kids one day)

January 21, 2013,

This picture taken that morning!

 

I'd been having contractions for weeks.  I was beyond exhausted emotionally, mentally, physically. This particular day I knew I had just hit that point.  And I knew hitting that point, where I broke down and cried, meant it was time. (It takes a lot to get me to the point of complete breakdown).

At one point in the day, when I was alone in my room I just looked up to the sky and said "Aaron, you quit playing with your nephew.  It's my turn!"

Literally within an hour my contractions picked way up. And they just kept going.

I finally texted my mom around 6pm and told her I was ready to go.   And I text James who was off buying gun ammo to get his arss home asap :)

We said good bye to the kiddos.  Cherry and Damon, completely beyond excited that they were going to have their new brother tomorrow, Braddock- clueless- haha.  He is after all only 21 months old. :)

And Lillie, oh my sweet little tag-a-long Lillie.  She cried. And cried. And was "going to miss you."  She does not like leaving momma :)

But she was excited too.  and we were off.

We got to the hospital somewhere around 7ish pm. I had already spoken to my most amazing midwife Angela.  And she was specialing me, so even though she worked the clinic the next morning, she came prepared to stay the night and deliver our baby!  We walked in to the hospital and I see my friend Ashley there, and I knew the fates had aligned and it was meant to be! Ashley used to work for my midwife clinic way back when I was having Damon. So I had known her for a few years.  Then she went to work for labor and delivery and I had not seen her for a long time.  Until last year when I ran into her when I was taking Damon to testing at school.  Our kids are at the same school! So we see each other there.

Anywho, back to the story....

So we get me all set up, monitored for a while, and she had me go walking.  I was 37 weeks and 3 days along.

James and I walked for an hour and went back.  I had dilated to a 4.  I was staying and we were going to have a baby!

I had planned out how my birth was going to go. Ahem, like it ever goes as planned?  I wanted to be pitocin free, I wanted to wait until I absolutely HAD to have my epidural.  I wanted to labor in a tub while I could....

Ya, that is not how it went at all.  I was GBS+ so immediately I was IV'd up and started on the antibiotics.  Holy crap I forgot how much that one burns through your arm!

Thank goodness for Angela who kept getting me warm blankets to wrap around my arm.  Amazing the difference it made!

Another hour had passed but I wasn't dilating and Mason wasn't lowering.  So I ended up on the pitocin.  I desperately wanted Angela to deliver our babe.  She has seen us through 7 miscarriages and now 5 deliveries.  To not have her deliver what we think may be our last, would ruin it.  So I was willing to help move things along to ensure she could.

The three of us gals had a great time laughing and talking and sharing stories as we watched the time pass.  It was awesome.  After a few hours, I had progressed nothing. : /  Typical for me actually.  I usually go in around 3cm, get to a 4, and it takes HOURS to get to a 7.  So for the next several hours we kept amping up the pitocin.  And hoping for progress. Nothing.

Angela came to break my water, but Masons head was too high up so we couldn't.  But the most amazing thing happened.  Angela was feeling around the sac of water to try and feel his position and through the sac, Mason had his hand up on his head and he grabbed Angela's fingers! She said in all her years of delivering babies, no baby had ever grabbed her fingers through the amniotic sac.  It was a really cool moment.

So we continued to wait, and contract.  I eventually got my epidural.  And not because of intense pain like I had hoped.  Nope.  Because my restless leg syndrome was so freaking bad that I could not stand just laying in the bed!  So I finally said just numb me up so I can at least rest and not want to saw my legs off.  It was the roughest epidural I'd ever had going in.  He hit the nerve in my spine and I seriously freaked.  I felt like my leg was floating in midair on top of this crazy electric shock pain shooting down my hip and leg. Thankfully the med kicked in a few minutes later and I couldn't feel that anymore!

I was still a 4.  So Angela went to rest and I tried to do the same.  I was so exhausted.  James slept away through most of the nights action :) Angela came back and was able to break my water.  We thought for sure that would get things moving.

Time again went by and hardly any change.  We finally decided he was posterior.  That sure explains all the back pain! So I flipped from side to side for a couple hours.  and sure enough, he slowly started lowering with the contractions.   I finally could feel him and the pressure and I hit 7cm.

 

Within a very short time (I want to say like 10 minutes) I went from 7cm to ready to push!

I pushed all of 4x (not even 2 full contractions) and out he came! It was intense, and I could feel everything. I knew when it was his head, I could feel his shoulders.  It was amazing.  I heard his beautiful sweet cry and it was the most beautiful sound in the world.  I looked at James and seeing the tears in his eyes and that particular smile on his face, I cried.  It was as if time stood still for that moment as Mason was put in my arms, and James and I just stared at our beautiful boy. It was the perfect moment.

I knew looking at him, and seeing his nostrils flaring, that he was having a hard time breathing.  So they took him away from me and within seconds his color was so white as I watched from my bed.  They called in the NICU specialists and immediately had him on oxygen. 

It was so hard to just lay there and watch him struggling.  I just cried.  Feeling completely helpless. Angela could see my worry, and she came and comforted me as they got him ready to go to the NICU.  She said the things I needed to hear.  I swear she can read my thoughts I don't say aloud. 

They did a quick weigh and measure before they took him.

Mason Troy

8:53am (13 hours after arriving to the hospital in labor)

20.5 inches

7 lbs 11oz

Our biggest baby!

Mason had fluid in his lungs.  Along with under developed lungs.  He was treated for pnuemonia.  And eventually jaundice too.  The next 7 days were insane.  And emotional.  He spent every one of those days in the NICU without me.  Or I should say I spent every one of those 7 nights in a hospital alone, with out my baby.  It seriously felt like I didn't even have my baby.  Like it never happened.

Luckily I had regained my legs pretty fast so I spent most of my time down in the NICU with him.  I couldn't hold him for over a day.  I couldn't nurse him for almost two days.  When I finally was allowed to feed him I literally just sat there with him nursing and I cried tears of joy.

 

Next to the moment I said "I do" to James, there is this moment at every birth that is my favorite moment of all time.  It is that moment when I see the pride, and the joy, and the love and compassion in my husband.  It steals my breath away.  And I find myself completely in love with him all over again.  It's a 

moment I never forget. The feeling, the look.  It is perfection.  James is the sweetest man I know.  He has so much love for his sweet little babies.  Seeing him with our tiny baby in his arms is like nothing else in this world. 

The kids came to visit me.  Hating that they could not meet their new baby.  Then during the week, 3 out of 4 kids got insanely sick too. Everyone had some form of this crazy bronchial infection and flu mix.  I was so emotionally torn about being at the hospital with my sick baby, and not being home to take care of my sick family.   I started getting a horrible headache that turned into the worst migraine of my life. I drove myself home at 3am barfing on the foggiest night.  So I could take my migraine Rx.  I had pumped enough that Mason didn't have to have formula.  Once it was back to a headache I went back to the hospital.  I sent James pictures and videos constantly.I wanted him there with me so badly.

One full week later we were going home.  I was so excited. And completely freaked out too.  He was so tiny and everyone at home so sick.  And he was going home on oxygen! So I went home the day before and bleached and Lysol'd  down the entire upstairs.

Getting Mason ready to go!

I can not say enough about Angela.  What she has meant to me in my life.  She isn't just my midwife, but a true friend.  I adore her.  And am so grateful that she has been with me start to finish as James and I have created our beautiful family.

Thank the Lord for my amazing mother.  She put her entire life on hold and not only took care of my kids, but my SICK kids and sick husband.  She cleaned up my home, and cooked amazing meals (which my kids remind me of every single day) :)  She drove the kids up to visit, and dealt with not only the kids melt downs, but mine too!  She is my rock.  I literally could not do this without her.  Momma, I hope you know how much I love and appreciate you and admire you.  You mean the world to me.

Mason is amazing.  We are all madly in love with him.  He looks just like his brothers.  He has the sweetest disposition.  He has the cutest cry.  He eats like a champ.  Every one of the kids has taken to him so well.  Even Braddock.  He fits in perfectly like we knew he would.  I can't imagine our lives without him.  

We are so truly blessed.