Lesson learned. With all the pregnancy issues with little Lillie I said it. It can't get worse. With how we are struggling as a family in this world I said "it can't get worse". Well it all just seems to keep getting worse! yes, we finally have an income. But it doesn't seem to let us get caught up, we are always behind on bills, and Christmas is out the window. Again. It's really getting old. Poor James does nothing but work his tail off. Then we pay bills and it's like there is nothing to show for it. And it's never enough. I am so grateful he works as hard as he does. I just wish it wasn't so hard.
So since we are short on money I decided it was time I start teaching piano and voice again. Well then yesterday I went into labor and went to the hospital. Ya labor. 11 weeks to go and I am in labor. Great huh!? I am now on full bed rest for a little while to calm things down. So there goes teaching! We are trying to avoid medications as long as possible. I have an "irritable uterus". Which I guess just means everything will give me contractions. I guess I should have expected this with this being the 7th pregnancy in 4 years. and the 4th since Damon 2 years ago. So anyways, I can't do a lot of things now and I have to keep my feet up as much as possible. If I can't manage it then it will be medication. So I am trying. But today is really proving to me how hard it is. I've done nothing but cry all morning between the pain and the kids(who are a pain in my butt! LOL!) I never realized how much getting up and down you do as a mom. It's one thing after another. Snacks, sippies, owies, can't find things, breaking things, getting into no no's, it doesn't stop! So I think all the up and down has made it too hard for me. Thank goodness James has the weekend off. 4 more hours until he is home....
And after a long talk with James last night about our finances and after I cried last night realizing my eating out has made it impossible to catch up on bills, I swore to myself I don't care how bad my day is I will not eat out at all. That and James told me that's not even an option anymore. Well, I am making mac n cheese for the kids today and what happens? Oh these damn flies I can't get rid of that are testing my every nerve.. ya, 2 right into the mac as I'm adding the cheese! So freaking disgusting! So I start bawling again because nothing is going right, and everything makes me cry anyways.... So I went and got us all burgers- ya I am not supposed to be driving anywhere either. no gas money and prohibited by my midwife because of the tension and pulling it does on the stomach. Now I am thinking it's going to be an even worse night once James gets home and sees I went out again. Right after our talk.
Ok, seriously if you read this whole post- I am sorry! I know it's long and I just needed to vent. It's not been a good couple of days and it doesn't look like it's going to improve for a while.
I just hope Lillie stays in there for at least 8 more weeks. preferably 9! I just want her to be healthy. And I don't more bills than we already have :)
Alright, I will post a happy post this weekend to make up for this one.
5 comments:
Have you gotten a blessing yet? I know how hard bed rest is, but there are worse things in the world...like the NICU! So keep your feet up, let the kids look like orphans, let the house work go, and just stay pregnant! Everything else is fixable once little Lillie gets here! As for the burgers, if James get upset, just give him the mac n' cheese with flies in it for dinner! Luv ya, girl! ;o)
ha ha. Jess you always have the best replies! Too bad I put it down the disposal already. Dang it! I am all about avoiding the NICU! It scares me to even think about it. I'll survive this.. somehow...
I so wish I were there right now to run and help you. I was thinking rescue, but I know I can't take you out of the situation, if only I could help to make it easier. hmmmm. You guys have had too many hard times. don't be afraid to ask for help. I am sure you have many friends and family willing to step in. We will keep you all in our prayers. Love ya Hollie. Sorry you have to go through this.
I am so sorry you have to be on bedrest, after 12 weeks on it myself, I truly understand the feeling. While I was in the hostpital for my third stay I took a tour of the NICU and saw what my baby would look like if he came out that day. After that I realized how important it was for me to do everything I could to get him to stay in. Let us know what we can do to make it easier.
Oh Hollie, I am so so sorry!! Even though it is SO worth it to not have that baby early, the bedrest is still so stinkin hard!! You guys are in my prayers, please let us know if we can do anything for you!!!
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